I have strong feelings about this page…

Scan 56

The Point Is:
Eventually, you
transcend
all the bullshit
and SEE
your real self.

You won’t be able to un-see the truth.


Commentary: The truth is, I fucking hate this page. I was trying to get at something kindof important, I think, so I’m going to try again here. So like … the point of life as far as I can tell is to transcend the bullshit. By that I mean figuring out who you really are, and maybe having some concept of where you fit in the universe, and possibly having a real appreciating for your own smallness.

I’m mad that I used the term “un-see” because it’s so Buzzfeed. Gross. But it’s true. Once you have even an inkling of who you really are underneath all the bullshit, that knowledge will shape your life forever. If you try to deny it, reject it, or ignore it, it will seethe under the surface of your life until you can’t breathe anymore. If you embrace it and breathe through it, it will transform you.

Ok, Dirt. That’s enough.

 

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on happiness and beauty

Scan 54

When you find your own happiness, you will also find your own beauty.

If for a moment you remember why you’re here, try to write it down or tell someone.

Scan 55

This girl. She is a dream I once had. She is my reflection when it is not looking back at me. She cannot sense me watching her. My mind is a one-way mirror, and in my dream, I stare all day.

One day, I’m going to be just another weird old lady.

Okay.

Scan 56

The Point Is:
Eventually you
transcend
all the bullshit
and SEE
your real self.

You won’t be able to unsee the truth.

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rejecting compulsory girlhood

Scan 52

I’m gathering up all the wisdom I can find and a few shiny things that could come in handy just in case.

Mostly, I don’t want you to think you are alone.

We are taught to recognize love by the pain it brings.

Love isn’t meant to hurt.

I will grieve every man I ever loved,

she said.

Except one.

Scan 53

To be a woman means rejecting compulsory eternal girlhood.

When beauty is defined as small, wide-eyed, red-lipped, high-voiced, and passive, that is compulsory girlhood.

To be a woman — full-grown and embodied — is powerful, transgressive and subversive.

If you want to change the world …

Be willing to risk Not Being Beautiful in exchange for becoming Whole.

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rejecting beauty

These two pages kinda go together, so the transcription for both is at the bottom.

Scan 50

 

Scan 51

I

don’t

like

your

definition

of

beauty.

We become powerful when we realize we have always been powerful.

It’s a hot night in a strange place I call home.

nightsounds

kitten feet

August skin

I’ve decided to give myself over to it.

I can’t edit here.

That isn’t how it works.

Just feel your way through.

Keep breathing.

Oh my god, keep breathing.

This poem is about sadness and fear and stuff, okay?

I don’t want

to deal with

reality.


Now + then, I glance in the mirror and see my mortality. I’m reminded that I am no longer a child playing at life. I feel a sense of urgency about being Alive Right Now. I’m alive “like it’s my job” because it is.

it’s not a typo       it’s live poetry


Commentary: Good luck with this one.

 

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