If You’re Afraid of Disappointing People

A Prism of Shadows: Self-portrait in Front of A Brick Wall

If you’re afraid of disappointing people
come here.
It’s not your job to make them happy.
If they can’t be happy, it’s not your fault.
And by “they” I mean your parents.
And your priest.
And God.
Because if God can’t be happy then who the fuck can?
You don’t need to worry about disappointing God or anyone.
You’re not the only one who ever failed.
In fact, you are just like everyone else.
We all fuck up.
We are all lost.
We are all on a very big adventure.
Decide your life is something you’d like to enjoy.
Decide that you have the right to enjoy it.
Take the appropriate actions.
Go to a fucking yoga class.
Go to therapy if you’re too uptight to do yoga.
Do not drown your sorrows.
They need air.
Catch your breath.
Get grounded.
Imagine growing roots through your feet.
Stand like you believe
you are someone.

Read More

Think Dangerously

police line do not cross
Think your most dangerous thoughts.
You don’t even have to believe them, just think them.
Go to those parts of yourself that you’ve cordoned off with police tape and barricades.
Peek inside.
What is it that’s so risky you can’t even let yourself think it?
Who benefits from your self censorship?
Reclaim your brain.

Read More

Monday Night Nonfiction: Unsolicited Advice

Glen Rubsamen: The gradual loss of all that gave life meaning and Joy (ARCO8 - Madrid)
Find meaning in what you do or else don’t do it.
Even if the meaning is just curiosity. What happens if … ?
Know that your actions change the world.
Your creations bring something into the world which was not previously there.
It’s OK to fuck up. You will miss the mark sometimes.
Good intentions count, but follow-through is better.
Have a goal in mind, or don’t.
Choose the path of integrity over the path of least resistance.
The fact that something is difficult to do does not make it worth doing.
It is easy to get lost in the noise of our age.
Do not join the meaningless chatter.
Entertaining delusions of grandeur has become a national pass time.
Opt out.
Opt fucking out.
Seriously.
Being important is overrated.
Be unimportant.
Take risks because they’re interesting to you.
Do it for the adventure.
Stop waiting for praise and acknowledgement.
If you don’t love what you’re doing, no one else will. And if they do, what’s that worth?
If you can’t laugh at yourself, you’re doing it wrong.
If you could change the world, what would you do?
Start now.

Read More

The Quotebook: Sweet Potato Queens

sweet potato queens 2

Words of wisdom from The Sweet Potato Queens’ Book of Love by Jill Conner Browne.

I always wished I could actually adopt this attitude. There was definitely a time in my life when I needed to hear this. Girls, if you’re worried about someone liking you, just tell yourself “another one will come along.” There are over 7 billion people on the planet, and you have got some seriously good shit going for you. Plenty of fabulous people are just waiting to appreciate your charms, so get the fuck out there and socialize with people who adore you and don’t worry about the schmuck.

Read More

Deep Thoughts from Teenage Me

This is the person you're taking advice from. I'm just saying.
I’m the one on the right. This is the person you’re taking advice from. I’m just saying.

I have this notebook full of quotes that I started keeping as a kid. Any time I found a saying that struck me as smart or funny or otherwise worth remembering, I wrote it down in this notebook. I’ve been slowly adding bits to it since I was about 12. So, we’re going to do an experiment. Every now and then, with minimal explanation, I will share a quote with you. It might be wise or smart or funny, or it might just be the type of thing you think is very clever when you’re 15.

For example, here is today’s quote:

“One thing I have learned: God made people good, but they have found all kinds of ways to be bad.”  -Ecclesiastes 7:29

I’m fairly certain this quote shouldn’t make me laugh, but it does. I’m sure when I wrote it down I thought it was a wise observation about morality, but now it just looks like a fun Friday night.

Read More