I live by one rule and one rule only: Sincerity.
Be sincere. Be real. Be true. Be honest. Don’t fucking fake it.
I used to spend a lot of energy trying to fit in, but no matter what I did, I couldn’t fit in. I couldn’t be like everyone else. And the harder I tried, the worse it was. I remember a moment in junior high when I realized fitting in was never gonna fly for me. I was changing in the school bathroom with the other girls in my class, getting ready for something … a basketball game, maybe? Or a school dance? We weren’t allowed to wear makeup to school, so we were all putting on our mascara and junk in the big plate glass mirror. I was putting on eyeliner, and this girl everyone liked who I always thought was kindof a jerk said, “Don’t do it like that, Mary! You wonder why why the guys call you a weirdo … if you do it like that you’ll really look like a freak.” How was I supposed to do it? I had no idea. I tried to mimic what she did, but it didn’t work.
It was such a quick moment, and I’m probably the only one who remembers it, but that was when I decided I was fed up with fitting in. I was tired of being harassed by people who were frankly not that smart or that interesting. That girl’s greatest skill was being able to impress seventh grade boys, and I finally realized that I really didn’t need her approval.
For a while, I went off the deep end in the other direction. All the clothing, music, friends and pastimes I chose were specifically selected to piss off the status quo. But after a while, that got tiring, and I realized trying not to fit in was just as fake as trying to be like everyone else, so I made my one rule: Be sincere.
Don’t lie. Don’t pretend. Do what feels true. Speak only what resonates with your inner reality.