I Love Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross


“The characters in Sex and the City were all scrambling for a man-I don’t call that a good message for women. Couldn’t just one of them say Look, I prefer to masturbate than go out with another one of these jerks?”
Betty Dodson


“Many women feel that porn is degrading. Some feminists would argue that porn is a direct threat to the status of women in the culture. If we want to understand why some women hate porn, we need to understand that the majority of porn depicts the male model of sexual response. Taken as a whole, the sex acts depicted are the sex acts that bring men to orgasm, not women. Only about 20 percent of women achieve orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. The majority of women need direct clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm.”
Carlin Ross

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Saturday Special: Espresso Martini Recovery Edition

Some days, there is simply nothing more beautiful than a cup of coffee.

Hello there, love! I ordered an espresso martini last night and didn’t realize that it had actual espresso in it, so today is off to a strange start. Then I went to a yoga class where the teacher was loopy from allergy medicine — it happens to the best of us! But it was definitely entertaining. Remind me not to take Zyrtec before teaching.

Here’s the playlist I made while I couldn’t sleep last night:

I like to plan blog posts in advance, but my favorites this week were my first ever, potentially annual fashion post and How to Give Joyfully, both of which were really fun to write and even took me by surprise.

My business cards finally came in, and I LOVE them. The flower design is by my sister, of course. I hope no one thinks I’m being too cocky with my “job description.”
My cards arrived!

Here are some of my favorite things from elsewhere on the internet this week:

I tweeted about this way back in the day, and I still want this on a t-shirt. (Oh, yeah, and I downloaded my entire Twitter archive. I’ll be scrubbing that for interesting tidbits in the days to come.)

I needed these reminders this week: Danielle Laporte’s declarations on business life.

This guy in Seattle says punk rock is bullshit. He makes some good points, but my instinct is still to disagree with him. I think punk still has some great things to offer.

My reddit book exchange match turned out to be a really cool guy. Check out his art work and follow him on Twitter.

A manga based on Sei Shonagon? Yes, please! Lauren brought this up on Twitter the other day, and I had forgotten I wanted to read it. So brilliant. Can’t wait to read it.

In general, you should read Lauren’s blog because she is fabulous.

Adrienne Rich on the function of art. I love her so much.

This guy is possibly the worst and yet the most intriguing inventor in the world. Check out some of the stuff he invented … a magnetic condom?!

My gaming group found this list of cocktails you can make with Tang. Some of them actually sound delicious. Others? Terrifying.

Gala Darling wrote a cool and in-depth article on palmistry. I’ve always found that sort of thing interesting!

This was floating around Tumblr this week: Chris is just a simple guy. I saw it on my friend Lisa’s blog, and she posts a lot of funny and inspiring things, so you should check her out.

Fascinating and humanizing — photos of porn stars without their makeup (SFW).

I think that’s it for today, folks. It’s a gorgeous day outside here in Maryland, and we’re celebrating the birthday of my lovely mother-in-law tomorrow. That means it’s time to open up the windows so the house can get some fresh air and get the place feeling nice for a Sunday brunch. Mimosas? Oh yes. There will be mimosas.


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Inappropriate Office Wear: A Tribute to Lady Gamers

I wore this shirt to work the other day. Every time I wear it, I remember how I got it for free at Quakecon one year because I wouldn’t stop bitching about how the one vendor there only sold tacky shirts in women’s sizes.

This was the only non-sexual shirt he had for women. It says, “read the fucking manual.”

All the other shirts said stuff like, “Chicks dig small ping,” and “Talk nerdy to me.”

“Hooray,” I thought. “As if being one of only 10 girls at this convention of several thousand people wasn’t enough of an invitation for weirdos to hit on me, I think I’ll invest twenty or so of my hard earned dollars on shirts with shitty puns so they’ll believe (incorrectly) that I am in need of their attention.”

I said as much rather loudly and probably somewhat more crassly as I was prone to do in those days (yes, more so than I am now). The other people browsing the t-shirt stand got a little uncomfortable. A girl near me snickered. The creepy shop owner tossed a shirt at me to shut me up.

Looking back, maybe I shouldn’t have taken the shirt. Maybe I should’ve raised hell instead. The same guy was the one who took photos of a handful of female con attendees and posted them on his web site so people could vote on a “Ms. Quakecon.” Some of the women got wind of this and decided to organize their own Ms. Quakecon contest for the following year — a tournament for women only. I participated but performed terribly because I was so nervous. If I remember correctly, Ms. X crushed me in the first round.

I was never a competitive gamer, but I supported the Ms. Quakecon tournament because I wanted my fellow females to get more respect than those cheesy ass t-shirts afforded us. The message of those T-shirts was essentially, “I am eye-candy.”

It’s no secret that the gaming industry and community are still dominated by men, but women shouldn’t have to prove ourselves to be considered part of the community. The Ms. Quakecon tournament was a nice way to bring the females of the community together in our shared love of games. Rather than let some total skeeveball with a shitty digital camera post our pictures on his web site so we could be judged against one another, a handful of women decided to take matters into their own hands and create a tournament we could all be proud of.

If you’ve ever had dreams about rail guns and rocket launchers; if you know how to build a PC; if you save up money to pitch in for a hotel room with 10 other people just so you can sleep on the floor for 4 nights during a convention; if you volunteer to run cable and end up with bruised knees from crawling along the floor to pull Cat 5; if you’ve ever worked an overnight security shift without pay out of nothing more than love for your fellow gamer … you deserve a lot more than small ping.

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