You are absolutely, intrinsically, at your core good. No matter how fucked up life gets, you can get back to good. It’s not because Jesus died on the cross to forgive your sins. There is no such thing as sin. There’s no one keeping score. You can choose to be good. When you look deep within yourself at who you really are, you will see the truth: You are good. First, you might see your pain, fear and shame, but take those off. You are not your suffering. Who is suffering? Find that person. It is the light in you, the good in you being smothered by fear, which makes you hurt.
Learn to love even that part of you that is afraid. See your own goodness.